Sometime i really get frustrated at a little something called protocol. I know the title may be termed as a tad misleading but i got it from the saying “in the land of eunuchs, the one testicled man was king”. Crass? It’s about to go downhill then.[ps. i got both testicles intact]
This is where i got ticked off. So the lady, a nice looking lady, kinda easy on the eyes, got around asking my number; i told her, asked me if i had an id, i shrugged. she looks at me and asks me whether i had my id, i told her no, coz i was making a deposit, not a withdrawal. She looks at me and without batting an eyelid tells me i cant make a deposit without my national identity card or passport. Without batting an eyelid i look at her squarely and told her to go fuck herself, turned and left. Ok, i didnt tell her to go fuck herself…ok i did.
At the next place i was a bit more open to reasoning with stupid people. So the conversation goes:
“hi[stupid people], i would like to deposit”
“K, you have your national id card”
“What’s your number?”
“072 asterix asterix asterix…etc”
“Where’s your id?”
“I don’t need it”
“excuse me [finger snap] but you need your id to deposit”[ok, I’ve exaggerated]
“*bored face*i know the number off-head…it’s my id ainnit?”
At this point i was bored, but i had already exhausted my weekly quota of “go fuck yourself”s so my attitude changed to something akin to patience. So i go:
“why do you need my id?”
“Because it’s required”
“Yes, we’ve already established that[inner groan], i mean why do you need it?”
“To identify you”
“I have my health insurance card with me, acceptable in most institutions for identification purposes”
The last bit was drawn out in a duh kind of way…seriously! stupid people.
“When you are typing out your thing, do you enter my id number anywhere?”
“No, but we need it to know it is you who is depositing”
“huh? never mind. After you deposit to my number, what happens? On my side i get a confirmation text, yours?”
“We also get a confirmation text”
“Good, we’re getting somewhere now!
“In that confirmation text…YOUR vendor confirmation text, is the id number featured anywhere?”
“So why do you need my id again?”
“[instead of a light bulb, a candle flickers somewhere in her TINY TINY brain only to get extinguished] To identify you”
“In this whole process why is my id needed when any identifying documents would suffice?”
“To know that it is you”
“[inner groan] Look here(stupid), i have a document whose names match the names returned in the confirmation sms. Isn’t that enough? I mean, if i could fake the names in your confirmation sms wouldn’t that mean the integrity of the whole mpesa process is compromised?”
“i mean, it’s not necessary to require an id to DE-PO-SIT[mouthed syllable by syllable for emphasis] money… even banks don’t require that part! coz it’s redundant!”
“We need your id to deposit money”
“You know what, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!”
And i left.
For those who don’t see the logic, or lack of it in this case…well maybe you’re reading the wrong blog…perhaps… And i bid your farewell.